Shouldn't have wasted my Sept holidays, cause I just can't seem to get the motivation to study anymore. Lost the momentum. This is really baaaaaaaaaaad.

Prelim results are all out except for Lit. So far, I passed everything but got an S for bio. Don't know if I should be satisfied with my grades or not, considering that I gave up halfway cause I got so angry with the school for not giving us time to study. With that, part of me feels quite lucky/contented to have passed most of my subjects. Yet, I look at my grades and compare them to my closer friends - they are getting like As and Bs, while all I get are Cs and Ds.

And then I remember an incident back in J1, where I was down for parent-teacher meeting cause my grades were so disgustingly bad. And my teacher said something like, "I don't understand why is it that even though you hang out with very good company, who are doing well in their studies, your grades are.. like that." And from then onwards I can't help but feel stupid and incompetent in comparison to my friends.

So at the end of it all, so what if I managed to pass even though I didn't put in much effort? What's more important is the fact that I haven't been studying enough, and hence my lousy passes.

Entry requirements for FASS in NUS : ABB/C
It looks quite impossible to achieve that now...

All these I've been telling myself, but why can't I get the drive to study harder? I've got to do something about it. Come on, Gods above, let me see the light.